Parents' Page

(John Pancott was a member of the Great Britain Olympic Team in 1960, Rome and in 1964, Tokyo. He is presently a Clinician for USAG, USAIGC and the Presidents Council on Physical Fitness and Sports. John presently owns his own gymnastics training center, and is actively teaching. His innovative, unique training methods of working with children have been heralded from coast to coast. His classes are motivational and inspirational.)

Make sure your child knows that win or lose, scared or heroic, you love her or him, and appreciate their efforts and are not disappointed.
Try your best to be completely honest about your child's athletic capability, their competitive attitude, their sportsmanship and their actual skill level.
Be helpful, but DON'T coach them on the way to the gym, on the way home, at breakfast, and so on.
Teach them to enjoy the thrill of competition, to be out there trying, to be working to improve their skills and attitudes, to take the physical bumps and come back for more.
Try not to relive your athletic life through your child in a way that creates pressure. You fumbled too, lost as well as won, were frightened, backed off at times, and you were not always heroic. Don't pressure her or him because of YOUR pride.
Don't compete with the coaches. Remember that in many cases, a coach becomes a hero to the athlete, someone who can do no wrong.
Don't compare the skill, courage or attitudes of your child with that of other members of the team. if your child shows a tendency to resent the treatment she or he gets from the coach or the approval other team members get, be careful to talk over the facts quietly and try to provide fair and honest council.
Get to know the coaches so that you can be assured that their philosophy, attitude, ethics and knowledge are such that you are happy to expose your child to them.
Don't overreact and rush off to the coach if you feel that an injustice has been done. Investigate, but anticipate that the problem is not as it might appear.
Make a point of understanding courage and the fact that it is relative. There are different kinds of courage. Some of us can climb mountains, but are afraid to get into a fight; others can fight, but turn to jelly if a bee approaches. Everyone is frightened in certain areas. Nobody escapes fear and that is just as well, since it often helps us avoid disaster.

The Morning of the Competition

Be ready for a nervous athlete. Be ready for a child focused on the coach and the event. Parents aren't as important on the morning of a competition. This is normal. This is a big event. The parents are less important. This is what you want. Guess what? You aren't the same just before a presentation at work. You aren't the same just before a new job interview. Can we expect these children to be the same with everything else that is going on in their head?

You aren't losing control of your child. You are giving them additional experiences to learn "life lessons". This is good. Is the coach more important than you on the morning of the competition? Yes, but that feeling is only temporary. Deal with it.

The morning of the competition, keep things light with no confrontations. Even if the athlete is short tempered. Look the other way and avoid any situations that could lead to confrontations. Stay positive and confident. Tell your athlete that they have prepared well for the competition. Remind them of past successes. Then step aside and enjoy the partnership of athlete and coach. This is a special time. Before you know it your athlete will be gone. Grown and out of sports. Have fun. Enjoy your time in sports. It is short.

Parenting An Athlete

What a job. The coaches do their job and you are in the background. What to do. What not to do. You want to support but not interfere. It is a tough job. And there were few if any "Parenting" classes along the way. Help is near. On this Parents Page you will enjoy little "snippets" about the various situations parents find themselves in dealing with their athlete children. We hope to bring a few suggestions and a lot of "we understand" to you in your quest to do the best job at parenting that you can.

Pre - Competition Period

The nervousness starts to build as your athlete gets closer and closer to the beginning of the season. In gymnastics, are the routines set yet? In soccer, is your athlete a starter or a reserve? What position? All sports are about the same, pressure and some stress before the first competition of the season.

Don't be surprised if you notice your athlete being a little more "distracted' during this period. This is quite natural. How are you at work just before a presentation or negotiation? Everyone knows what they WANT the outcome to be but in business and in sports, the outcome can be in doubt. And your athlete has the added pressure of having you watching all of the things happening. They don't want to disappoint you. Make sure that you support them.

Coaches

These people are feeling the stress of the new season also. Be understanding in their behavior too. They have worked hard to prepare the team and just before the season starts the coaches can finally see what the season is going to be like. The team can look good or the coach may see a poor year coming up. These observations can cause changes in behavior.

Growth

The season for your athlete will include incredible learning. More in how to be a better young adult rather than in skill development. Every sporting situation from the preparation to the final evaluation after the competitions, learning takes place. In the vast majority of cases, children participating in sports develop better self confidence, honesty, sportsmanship, agility, coordination, teamwork, compassion and a hard work ethic. They also learn to challenge themselves. There is so much to learn over and above the awards. Enjoy the sporting career of your children, it will be over before you know it.